A tired Rain fan

My office mate said during lunch that she wants an internet access at home. She was influenced by me. Not that I did it on purpose. All this talk about how I spent my time at home surfing the net looking for any bits of information on Rain, had somehow rubbed on her on how fortunate it is to have such facility at home. But I asked her, are you sure that is really what you want? Why she said? Well like me, having net access at home is no longer adequate. I want more. I want to be able to have access everywhere I go. Hometown, vacation, during leisure even when I sipped coffee after shopping. Bcos I cant stop thinking of what I've been missing. Matter related to who else but Rain. Others I don't give a hoot.

Isn't that sounds like a curse? The Malays call it 'Takde penyakit cari penyakit' -translate: You are healthy but you go and look for sickness. Hmmm... That's exactly what's happening to me. I choose to stay in this maze. And didn't even bother to find my way out of it even thou' its sometimes affecting my real life. About a week ago, Danish asked why do you surf the net for Rain all the time? 3 days ago, he cried in frustration Rain, Rain, Rain. I'm sure there's more to come. And I chose to keep my mouth shut. What can I say? That I'm under a spell? Cant seem to snap out of it? O why o why must I get myself into all this? And now I'm too deep to just ignore the feeling and the whole experience of knowing Rain even if it's only from far.

Our lunch conversation continues; so do you still stay up late to surf? Yes, I answered. But how come you don't look tired or sleepy? I do sometimes but nowadays I'm kinda use to it. But I must admit that it is not an easy work. Just like Rain work hard to satisfy his fans and prove to his critics. His fans like me has to work hard to keep ourselves abreast with updates on him.

Maybe it's just me. But I must confessed, it is tiring to become a fan, especially to someone like Bi Rain.